You can be a good girl, and a badass.

“Be a good girl”- they said. Don’t express your opinion. Don’t say what you don’t like. Don’t eat first, put others above you, be independent but don’t forget your values. Adjust, chime in, be water.

Eat what others are eating. Laugh, smile a lot, be welcoming. Help serve the food, clean up after everyone. Don’t be loud. Wear something modest. Be polite, compromise, be grateful.

In the name of politeness, we have been conditioned by our parents, society and media to think that being agreeable, modest, and acquiescent equals good.

Bollywood movies are fun to watch yet many times notorious for setting stereotypes for good or bad women. “The good girl” is someone who upholds the Indian sanskaar. She is someone who works tirelessly for the family often putting her needs and wants on the back burner. Being an ideal wife, an agreeable daughter-in-law with a religious inclination. The bad girl, on the other hand, is someone who lives life on her own terms, quite often defying societal norms with “strong opinions”. Even dressing as a tom-boy and playing basketball is considered a downside. On the other hand dressing femininely and singing bhajans is looked upon as positively reformative . ( Indeed, Kuch kuch hota hai didn't just make it big on the Silver Screen but impacted our stereotypes generously) .

Good Girl Syndrome occurs when girls and women internalize these cultural messages about how they “should” behave based on such stereotypes.

Expressing your discomfort, voicing your opinions and asking for what you want are all considered selfish for women. A man who knows what he wants is considered bold and independent, but a woman on the other hand is deemed self-centered .

I am not afraid of being the center of attention for speaking out, however, I often feel the fear of being judged. I have spent a lot of time optimizing my life decisions both big and small because of my fear of disappointing others and the fear of rejection.

The “Good girl syndrome” can affect a woman's ability to set healthy boundaries and communicate openly and honestly”. This often leads to suppression of one’s desires and a relentless pursuit of external validation. The pressure to conform to these expectations can create significant stress and negatively impact the overall well-being .

Release yourself of these expectations. You can be humble and know what you bring to the table. You can be kind but have boundaries for your well being. Remember you can be a good person and still stand up for yourself.