Five things I learned as a second-time mom
Two months ago I gave birth to my second child, baby boy Kabir. A lot has changed since then. I learned a lot about myself, my kids and my new life. I am here to share my top five learnings.
It is okay to ask for help.
As a first time mom I thought l would naturally know how to take care of my baby and would be able to do it all on my own, but I was wrong. Like all other things, parenting comes with time and experience. I have accepted that I can’t do it all. I now ask for help without judging myself.
Self Care is Important.
Motherhood is demanding both physically and mentally. In order to meet my kids’ needs I need to recharge yourself. I prioritize taking care of myself everyday even if it means having a cup of warm milk, meditating for 5 mins, reading two pages of a book, taking a 30 min nap or going out for a short walk. Squeezing in the time to take care of yourself daily takes you a long way. I have also realized I am a much better mom to my kids when I feel good and taken care of.
It takes time to recover and feel like yourself again.
I was very anxious after my first pregnancy due to my altered physical appearance. I did not feel like myself and struggled with low self esteem. As time passed I started exercising and building strength, which helped feel stronger and better. So the second time around I gave myself a lot of grace. I thanked my postpartum body for growing, nurturing and giving birth to my two babies. I appreciate my body for what it has done and can do.
Filter Advice.
I received a lot of advice from everyone around me like the paediatrician, grandparents, friends and above all, the internet. Some of it was helpful but most of it was not. I felt overwhelmed and felt I was always forgetting to something that I was supposed to. But with my second born I know the things that matter and the ones that don’t. I have also identified my style of parenting and have evolved as a mother. I still seek advice but know how to filter it and do what works for me and my family.
Habits are not permanent.
“Don’t hold the baby too much, you’ll spoil him”, “Don’t rock him to sleep, he’ll get used to it”, “Don’t feed him, he’ll never learn to eat himself”. These were few of the things I read and heard. I was constantly worried that I was spoiling my first-born but I realized that habits they form in the early years are not permanent and like us they constantly evolve and adapt. So now we cuddle, hold tight and rock him to sleep without second thought. They’ll be independent when its time for them to be.
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